I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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