but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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