Screwed.edu
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
