Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
