i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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