He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
you never un-have a 4some
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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