we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
