I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
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Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
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You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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