So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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