just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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