Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
