sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
