bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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