I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
