I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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