PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
ttyl tear gas
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize