On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
