oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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