Farmville is her only friend.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Randomize
