your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Two words: nipple clamps
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