just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
too bad you live with your parents still
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
