I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
