dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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