yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
