There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just cropdusted the office
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
