eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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