i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
PANTIES FOUND
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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