i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you told grandpa to call you daddy
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
