You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
