i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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