Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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