Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
