I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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