After last night, I could never be a politician.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Randomize
