He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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