worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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