Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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