I need help removing her.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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