you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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