Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
