Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
