I need help removing her.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
