Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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