Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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