lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
