you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
