Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Boobs are out for the taking
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I am available for nakedness
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
