Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
