Pants 0. Shit 1.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
