Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
