in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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