Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
