My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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