Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
