OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
