Need sex. Gaining weight.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Everclear isn't food dammit
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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