Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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