you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
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