I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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