'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
