Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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