I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
