i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
