I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
