i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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