I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
