just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
