it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize