Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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