Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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